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Byrner
11-04-2008, 01:14 PM
Stop moaning and start ranting..every forum I go on to , they're all moaning..if you're in Glendo and ranger bob gets you , have a freaker about your tyres not wrecking the place and your taxes..
if the XC NPS is wrecking your head buy a DH bike..if you don't like Lycra..wear PVC...
I don't know..
I've been with the same woman for the last 30 years shes always at me to change..
well i'm off to Thailand for a sex change..
we'll see how she likes that and how will the rest of you cope with being led around the mountains by me as a woman..
I'll be so hot , your loins will be in turmoil..

Don
11-04-2008, 01:34 PM
Be careful in Thailand, if some hot chick with big bazooms and a beard comes on to you things may not be what they seem....

Byrner
11-04-2008, 01:43 PM
at this stage i don't care...i've had enough of the moaning and the misunderstanding and the political bloody correctness..whats that frickin saying about the just man being able to do unto others what he wants done to him..or something ?

Pete
11-04-2008, 01:49 PM
I think that was Jebus, here Richie if you do go to thailand can i be the first to bring you to the pictures?

Pete
11-04-2008, 01:49 PM
i'll be cutting the hole in the end of the popcorn bucket

Cathal
11-04-2008, 01:52 PM
whats that frickin saying about the just man being able to do unto others what he wants done to him..or something ?

No, that's not just a man it's a hemaphradite.

Byrner
11-04-2008, 02:35 PM
Ok Pete, its a date !!

Pete
11-04-2008, 02:39 PM
yay

SHAM
11-05-2008, 02:18 PM
What a shower of twats.

How can I make myself more visible. My lights are on I'm wearing hi vis my bike is gold for god sake I couldn't be more obvious Open your fcukin eyes.

Is it just one of those days? Is there a full moon or something? Do I have a big target on my back? Am I that bad when I'm behind the wheel? Jaysus christ !!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh now that's better. I thought at least a few of you can relate to this, There are bound to be a few cyclists who can relate to this on here. Im on a big obvious motorbike with massive lights on day and night and yet three times today I nearly ended up pulling someone out of a car or van.

Sorry about that, but thought this was the best place for a moan. My Mrs wont listen. She will just tell me I shouldn't be on a bike anyway.

Don
11-05-2008, 02:23 PM
I feel your pain Sham, since the clocks did their thing the commute on the motorbike home is like running a gauntlet, I stick on my **** off highbeams and filter with caution, hoping I have built up enough good karma to get me home to the wife and kids.

Byrner
11-05-2008, 02:24 PM
" yay" as Pete would say.!!

PeterOF
11-05-2008, 03:04 PM
got knocked down in broad daylight in Rathmines on Friday in my hi-vis and on my very blue bike. Still, at least the driver was much more shocked then me, especially after the rant I gave him :)
going to Wales the weekend to have lots and lots of fun on the manmade manicured trails that all ye proper bikers despise :)

Byrner
11-05-2008, 03:16 PM
Go up Snowdon on your bike..you'll love it..don't fall off at the top though..

ColinB
11-06-2008, 12:45 PM
What the fcuk has happened to Ballinstoe.... went for a quick spin there last night, first night spin this year, there's new "lines" everywhere.... feckin gimps skipping some of the best bits and cutting corners....why ?

Pete
11-06-2008, 12:47 PM
i think you answered your own question there, I'll have to keep away from there , something about the place brings out the worst in me, perhaps the inhabitants

Byrner
11-06-2008, 12:58 PM
OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHhhhh don't get me started on that one..last time I had a rant about that, it was cut and pasted and sent to Cycling Ireland as an example of my murderous tendencies..
they do it on the Leadmines and i've started to see it in Djouce..
And the mad thing is , this muppet came on here screaming that if he chose to ride around features instead of over them than it was his right..regardless of who built them or why..
but i no longer need to rant about that as I now know who he is and as yet I haven't seen the little ****..but when I do..oh boy oh boy oh boy

ColinB
11-06-2008, 01:42 PM
It's really annoying, it was mad misty and I had kinda forgotten the in's and out's of the trail so I was just following the first line I saw and I found myself on these ride arounds about 3 or 4 times, they miss out some really good bits...

Still though, have to say I love that second long descent in the dark, swoopy swoopy and turny turny and ooooooh look at the little glowy eyes following me...

Dethshed
11-06-2008, 01:47 PM
... and ooooooh look at the little glowy eyes following me...

little Jawas?
screaming "Ooteenee!"?
and trying to flog you R2 units with bad motivators?
little feckers
http://www.movie-maniacs.co.uk/images/jawa%20bust.jpg

the real craic is when a clatter of sheep get onto the trails, as was the case a few months back - and you herd them along and they're hoppin' and leppin' and taking crazy-ass lines to escape, I enjoyed that.....

OZ
11-06-2008, 02:19 PM
In a fun sorta way or a skanky sexual kinda way?

Dethshed
11-06-2008, 02:45 PM
err...sexy fun - you know... the antithesis of a cross race Oz.....
good luck in that by the way

ColinB
11-06-2008, 03:02 PM
Deadly.... I know what I'll be imagining in the dark up there from now on....


I know that just outside the beam of my light there's monsters watching me.....

OZ
11-06-2008, 04:00 PM
I shall need it

When does your cross bike arrive from CRC?

Dethshed
11-06-2008, 04:47 PM
I spent the money on a new pair of shexcy XC forks instead
http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/Models.aspx?ModelID=25042
and bought a rake of spares in their flood sale
and the big bike is in with Al and the lads for new pivot bearings replacement
...and that's my cyclo-cross budget blown!
oh well, maybe next year.....or that year after that.....

OZ
11-06-2008, 05:05 PM
They look the dogs alright

Byrner
11-07-2008, 08:57 AM
I have a rant..
I go to the gym..i like to work my guns and wear tight fitting lycra tops..I don't like looking at smelly boggers in GAA tops..and long black socks..when did they become sexy..Going to the Gym is a sexy experience..I don't want to look at big Mulchie gombeens in Flappy jerseys in primary colours with Logos like " tyrellspass Slurry containers ltd".
And people who obviously only do one set with a huge weight they can't really lift..
I hate that..
But i really hate the long black socks..and the football shorts..its Lycra Hotpants or 3/4 length tights..preferably the hot pants..
And what the fcuk are fat people doing in the gym ? When did that happen ?
Now where did i leave my pschycholoxestrinophylamine tablets..

Pete
11-07-2008, 09:03 AM
yeah unfortunately I think the Guards get free gym membership

Dethshed
11-07-2008, 09:24 AM
true-dat, big guns
..and they seem to love being really dirty and smelly - legs caked with mud and some blood after "a rare oul boot around bejaysus" in a scutter-soaked paddy-field
and the frickin' stink of them - seems like they think they are tougher the worse they smell
but the feckin worst is those poxy silky baggy ****ey-off-white gaa shorts they insist on wearing - boggers jocks that's what they are

...then the roid-ragers with the over-inflated trapezoids who have no neck with the stupid look they give you if your guns are less than 38 inches-
gob****es - it's like back years ago when myself and my buddies were doing tae-kwon-do and the fancy kicks, and the local thugs asked us what good would all that katate ****e be to us after a good kick in the stones - we never had an answer for that, and I've yet to see a gym machine that works your groin, though Byrner probably has some contraption in his garage.....

Byrner
11-07-2008, 09:37 AM
that contraption is the book by the venerable Lobsang Frip,,,he teaches the art of testiculee withdrawal..by focussing the mind on the genical area..you can use your Diaphragm to suck your Goebells up in to your abominable cavity..therby protecting your most precious possessions..allowing the continuation of yang, which we all know is a secret gland attached to your testicilees..
In my Chop Sockey days I was felled by more than one panicky girl who obviously motivated by some sort of buried instinct levelled a size 5 at the place between my legs that we dare not about.
Jesus Pete, any Gardai i know are sound..you northsiders with your contempt for law and order...you crack me up..
This morning there was a fat, shaved head " tough Guy " in a Hoodie with big headphones under the hood wandering around doing situps with a 20kg plate and growling to himself..
i thought he was a homeless person..
Whats that all about...

Pete
11-07-2008, 09:41 AM
feck off my best mates a Guard he's a thick country vegetable

Byrner
11-07-2008, 09:42 AM
relax Pete, go to your happy place..did you sort out those backdoors like i told you too!!

opentarget
11-07-2008, 09:45 AM
i went out with a guard, she was a twat and is the basis for all the hate i directed at the guards...and yes i am a northsider and no she wasnt a guard when we started going out.
she changed into one is the only way to put it!
im sure a lot are sound just she was absolutely not = all guards are silly!

Don
11-07-2008, 09:50 AM
So your girlfriend left you and became a Gardai, tough break, although not as bad as a pal who's girlfriend left him and became a lesbanian, you have to be really lousy in the sack to do that to someone, he's never been the same since.

opentarget
11-07-2008, 09:54 AM
nahh she joined the guards turned into a sap then left me...probably for some thick as f**k veg from templemore!
turning a girl lesbian is quite impressive....i bet he w*nks all the time over the thought of it! thats about the only upside to that.

Dethshed
11-07-2008, 10:20 AM
but who would he wink at?
the Gardai?
all that winking could be misinterpreted as a nervous twitch...and then you'd get arrested for looking suspicious....

adamt
11-07-2008, 10:33 AM
Doesn't he know you can go blind from too much winking.......

Don
11-07-2008, 10:36 AM
That's why the Republicans lost, all that rogue winking by Palin, I get deeply nervous when people wink at me. And another thing, John McCain the big war hero with his android arms, if he is such a good soldier why did he get caught?

Pete
11-07-2008, 10:54 AM
**** that even Rambo got caught, don't get me started the yanks were no match for the Vietnamese

Byrner
11-07-2008, 11:12 AM
don't get me started , if the yanks had used their weapons the way they are supposed to they would have ruled the world..guilt over hiroshima and Nagasaki keeps them from winning wars the only way they get won..
I guarentee that if the Vietnamese were invading America..they wouldn't care who they blew up or slaughtered..you can't invade and subdue a country with one arm tied behind your back and your undercrackers round your ankles.
You have to obliterate your enemies and completely stamp your authority on the survivors.

Don
11-07-2008, 11:27 AM
You belong in the Third Reichie.

They should have felt guilty, both bombs on Japan came when the US knew the Japs were finished and near surrender, but they wanted to test their Uranium and Plutonium bombs on live targets. The Yanks are great that way.

John Damage
11-07-2008, 11:59 AM
don't get me started , if the yanks had used their weapons the way they are supposed to they would have ruled the world..guilt over hiroshima and Nagasaki keeps them from winning wars the only way they get won..
I guarentee that if the Vietnamese were invading America..they wouldn't care who they blew up or slaughtered..you can't invade and subdue a country with one arm tied behind your back and your undercrackers round your ankles.
You have to obliterate your enemies and completely stamp your authority on the survivors.

Funny - I thought it was MAD that stopped them blowing everything up.
Must've been the old MAD I suppose.
Ah the olden days...I was in the old MAD for a while...years ago....
Dont remember the strategic nuclear defence wing though...i suppose Peter Purfield had his finger on the trigger. Richie would never have been allowed near it. Not even if Peter was on holidays.
Duck&cover you capitalist swine!!

Byrner
11-07-2008, 12:08 PM
no they haven't been great since..sure, they've dabbled in small time badness..but if you are going to roast a country, be a man and do it up front with your big guns and your teeth gritted, not this banjo playing, hands greasy with vaseline way..
beat them to their knees and then offer them your way or the dark way..
its war, not Skirmish, Chess or Trivial Pursuit..
i can understand The 2nd World War even though the 3rd reich probably would have suited me, but the others were for money and oil..
still if you're going to go to war for Oil, you're just going to get caught out, because you can't flatten the country and eliminate the threat, you have to tiptoe around so you don't destroy what you were goin in for in the first place..
They would have been better off staying out of Vietnam, especially after the Limeys and the Frenchies abandoned it..
i would have liked to see them go against the Soviets in Afghanistan .

Byrner
11-07-2008, 12:13 PM
MAD didn't stop them, everybody knew the Soviets missiles were made out of Galvanised Tin and pointing at tibet..
The reason why we never see real wars for honour anymore its because of the Illuminati. Them and the Noble order of The Golden Dawn.
Whats wrong with being a capitalist..everybodys a capitalist..once you own something your a Capitalist..
Wheres this frikkin thread going ?

Byrner
11-07-2008, 09:46 PM
did i say something wrong you've all gone quiet..
i joined The Irish defence Forces in 1980, i was pretty damn sure the word was going to go to World War III , i didn't think they'd let the Russians away with Afghanistan...everybody believed ( Knew) they were heading towards iraq and the Oilfields of Persia.. but the Taliban stopped them..Ronald reagan called them an Evil Empire and the Yanks bombed Colonel qaddafi..what happened to him, he was a real bogeyman..
Its a funny old world..

Don
11-07-2008, 09:52 PM
Qaddafi now plays golf with The Bushes, the whole Lockerbie things was just a big misunderstanding, Palin, a heartbeat away from the Presidency is not aware that Africa is a continent, I can't tell a chimp from a monkey, you're right, it is a freaking mad old word.

Byrner
11-07-2008, 09:59 PM
only 20% of Americans have passports..they haven't a clue whats going on outside of The US..i was listening to a guy on the radio last night , a well known American newsman, his name escapes me..he was asked if America would now be more outward facing under Obama, as news coverage of events outside of the US was scarce under Bush..
he said No, its been surveyed apparently, the youth of America have no interest in what goes on outside the USA, their opinions of Canada and Mexico, let alone Venezuela and Bolivia and the rest of The Americas is non existent, they simply don't exist..

Byrner
11-28-2008, 07:16 PM
Here..whats the story with Fat Men in the Gym who barely work-out but stink up the place and get in my fookin way.
I love working my guns..its one of those many pleasures I have, albeit one of the few I can do in public.
But the one thing that really gets me is bad manners in the Gym..
i had to take matters in to my own hands after yet another fat sloppy git invaded my personal work out space..
I was cranking out some savage deadlifts..when the Goober kicks a dumbell right through where I'm standing..
However being the pschycopath that I am..i put down my 100ks and picked up the dumbell and put it somewhere safe demonstrating to the bag of pus corrrect Gym ettiquette..
and proceeded with my deadlifts..
Half way through my 2nd last set he pulls another Olympic bar along the ground inches from my heels and drops it on the ground along with his greasy towel and liquidized breakfast roll.
So I put my weights back on the stand..
turned around and flung the Olympic bar the fat git was going to use well out of my personal workout space..
I looked straight at the ****head and said
" where are your ****in manners you stupid fat ****head !!"
and all of a sudden all the giant Eastern Europeans and the Rugger Buggers turned around to look at me..
Suffice to say he went on his way after a couple of attempts at shape throwing, but i've been throwing shapes for nearly 30 years and they are wasted on me ..
the Moral of the story is I'm nearly as bad at the Gym with strangers as I am with the people that I know and love on the Bike
Richie